The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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