Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
