i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
