Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
