plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
