how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize