If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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