you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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