the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize