Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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