Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
