I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
