please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
