i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
