just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize