Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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