Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The power of my boobs compel you
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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