I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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