And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
