What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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