So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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