a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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