He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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