Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
