Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Holy sore nipples Batman
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
