why didn't you poke me back
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
