Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
