My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Couch. On fire.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
