i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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