Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
