problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
