So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
