Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
