i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
