I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He felt like a one man threesome
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
