so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Houston, we have a blender
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Randomize
