Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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