If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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