Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize