I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
