yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Panties = found
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