Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
