i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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