yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
