I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
