You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
