i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
