Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
