Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
