I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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