so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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