You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
