did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
