I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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