I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
