ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
another moral hangover. fuck.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
