True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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