the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize