And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize