I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just tell him i said nine months
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
