uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I died a long time ago.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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