Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
