You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
