i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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