OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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