My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
