I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
