dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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