dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't put those talents on a resume
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
