I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
