I want to make a zoo with you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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