Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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