so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize