24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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