My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
