Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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