brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize