I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
